ENTRY: 11am. Play Photo Slideshow set to `Butterfy Kisses`
INTRODUCTION: Good Morning.
Thankyou for being here today to join with the Family in celebrating the life of Tegan Richelle Ham known to Family and friends as `TEGS`
And farewell her in a respectful, loving and meaningful way.
As a mark of respect for Tegan and her Family, please ensure that mobile phones are turned off, or are on silent for the duration of the service.
My name is Jenny Ashen, a civil celebrant, and it`s my privilege to welcome you on behalf of Tegans` Family.
Today, we are gathered in remembrance of a very special person in your lives, and in doing so we are all aware that our lives are interrelated and composed of many facets from birth until death.
Our being here today is yet another facet – a meaningful demonstration of love and friendship for Tegan and her Family.
It is true that death has a way, of uniting us in a way that perhaps no other Human Experience does. It reminds us of the fragility of our relationships.
It reminds us of the special and unique way in which we relate to those people who cross our pathways in life.
It is at a time like this that we think, too, of the great debt we owe, to the past – to all men and women who have gone before us, and how each of them has contributed something, great or small, to the benefit of mankind as a whole. Their work and achievements has not only benefited others in their own time, but also future generations.
When I spoke with the Family, soon after Tegans` passing, we discussed including a verse that would reflect how Tegan would want you to think of her, and your lives without her and they chose:
`SHE IS GONE`, by an unknown Author.
You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she lived
.
You can close your eyes and pray and she`ll come back, or you can open your eyes, and see all shes` left.
Your heart can be empty because you can`t see her, or you can be full of the love that you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or you can do what she`d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
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The death of a loved one is a traumatic experience for the Family, and the pain remains for a long time, and for some may never extinguish.
Over the next few months Tegans` Family will need and treasure your support, as they come to terms with their loss, and rearrange their lives without Tegan.
Please stay in contact with the Family, visit if you can, include them in activities. Your support, caring and love will be helpful to them during those inevitable moments of grief and emptiness.
EULOGY:
We deliver Tegans` eulogy, so let’s reflect on a life that was full of love and caring.
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Tegan Richelle Ham , born 14 March 1994 and who sadly passed on 14 April 2012, at the tender age of 18yrs, known to some as Tegs, Teggles and Tee, was a beautiful bubbly, bright young Lady who made people smile in all that she did and said. Even at her worst, Tegan would always make us laugh.
When giving her Dad kisses on his cheek with her eye lashes which he referred to as Butterfly kisses. When she used to wrap her arms about his neck and her legs around his waist and tickle the back of his neck.
When she played baseball with her brothers and was told `Tegan duck!` because the ball was headed straight for her and how she stood there looking up and asked ` Where`s The Duck` before copping the ball in the head.
When she used to bring her Step Mother Hibiscus Flowers of which by the time she visited, 5 would be dead and so she would pick a 6th one when asked why 5 dead ones and a 6th fresh one she would say ` Cause I wanted you to know that I had been to school everyday but cause they went off I picked another one to make you smile and so you would never forget me. After giving her a hug she would say `But Shhhh don`t tell dad cause he will be mad at me for stealing`.
When she sat up in bed, after a long night at the hospital after suffering one of her many epileptic seizures, with her Dad and Step Mother by her side, she spilled milo on the doona and with tears in her eyes said `Im sorry Mum` I told her to `Sssshh as it could be easily washed out`.
Tegan, was popular and had many friends at school, some were closer to her than others and they would always say how she made them laugh with the silly things she would say and do. Whether she was acting silly or talking silly she would always make them and us Laugh or smile.
Even at her rebellious stage, as only Teenagers could be, she would make us angry by pushing the boundaries, but even then we couldn`t help smiling and help being reminded of how we ourselves used to be the same, at that age.
Tegan (Tegs, Teggles, Tee) no matter what we choose to call her, will always be a part of our lives and we will always remember her each and every single day – We love you Tegs , Sleep the long sleep and may you now finally be at peace and without suffering.
A PRAYER FOR TEGAN – by Donna
Tegan hasn`t gone away
She walks beside us Each and Every Day
And although we cannot see or hear her
She will be remembered and cherished in every single way
Tegan will remain with us
And precious Memories of her will stay and never fade
For as long as we keep her memory close to us
Tegan, Tegs, Teggles, Tee will in our hearts
Forever Remain.
While today is an appropriate time for expressing our sorrow at losing Tegan, more importantly, it is a time to celebrate her life.
Tegans` spirit and her life were a part of your lives and although we mourn her loss today, there is something that remains – Tegans` influence will continue long after we say our final farewell.
Tegans` warmth, her love, her principles, her values, her struggle with Epilepsy, were an everyday part of her life, shared with all who know her, and they have become an integral and enduring part of you.
Tegan would not want your hearts to be heavy and full of grief. Instead, she would want you to remember her with happiness, joy and love, rather than sadness, perhaps with a smile and thoughts of all good and happy moments, and certainly some funny moments in her life and those she shared with you.
Remember that those we love are never truly gone. They live on in our hearts and in treasured memories that we hold and cherish for the rest of our days.
Along with sadness, there are things to be glad about:
Glad that Tegan is not suffering and that she is at peace.
Glad for the joys that she has experienced and for the fullness of her life of 18yrs.
Glad for having known her and for the love she gave so freely, the values she has taught and the Principles she lived by.
The Family have chosen the following:
Memories in The Heart
Feel no guilt in laughter
She knows how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile
That she`s not there to share.
You cannot grieve forever,
She would not want you to.
She`d hope that you would carry on
The way you always do.
So talk about the good times
And the ways you showed you cared.
The days you spent together.
All the happiness you shared.
Let the memories surround you,
A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture
A time, an hour, a day.
That brings her back as clearly
As though she were still here,
And fills you with feelings
That she is always near.
For if you keep those memories
You will never be apart
And she will live forever
Locked safe within your heart
REFLECTION:
*Friends, please join in reflecting on Tegans` life and the impact she had while we listen to Seleen McAlister singing ` Somewhere Over The Rainbow` (Picture Slide plays during the song)
In reflecting on Tegans` life I`m sure that all of you have thought of several instances which she inspired you and shared her friendship, love and values with you. While thinking of her when we leave this place, let us do so in quietness of spirit, conscious of the things that really matter in life, and resolve to live this way toward each other.
A PRAYER FOR TEGAN
Author Unknown
God looked around his garden
And found an empty place
He then looked down upon the Earth
And saw your tired face
He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest
With the help of his angels
They flew you to your heavenly place
Gods’ garden must be beautiful,
He always takes the best
He knew you were suffering,
He knew you were in pain
He knew that you would never
Get well on Earth again
He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills too hard to climb
He closed your weary eyelids
And whispered "Peace be Thine"
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
The Family would like to invite you back to Greenbank RSL for light refreshments and share your stories.
COMMITTAL
Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand for the committal.
Tegan, your life we honour, your departure we accept and your memory we cherish.
For all the good you did during your life, we thank and bless you.
For any mistakes you may have made we forgive you.
But today and from this day forward, we shall remember you with great love and affection.
Tegan, we commit your body to be cremated – completing the cycle of life.
Your constancy and courage we commit to our memories; your humanity and caring we commit to be returned to the cycles of nature.
Now may Tegans` spirit rest in peace.
Ladies and Gentlemen, thankyou for being here today for the Family and each other.
Good Morning, and have a safe journey home.
Play photo slide with music set to ` Another Star In The Sky`written by Dane Sharp
